Inner Work · 9 min read
Dark Night of the Soul: Meaning, Signs and How to Get Through It
By Chandini Botre
Updated
In short
The dark night of the soul is a period when the beliefs, comforts and sense of meaning you relied on stop working, and you feel lost before something new takes shape. The phrase comes from the 16th-century Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross. It can look like depression from the outside, so if low mood, hopelessness or thoughts of self-harm are part of it, please see a doctor or call or text 988 in the US.
A dark night of the soul is a stretch of time when the things that used to give your life meaning stop working. Beliefs, routines, relationships or a sense of purpose that once held you now feel empty, and you have not yet found what comes next. The phrase comes from a 16th-century Christian mystic, and today people of many paths use it to describe a painful but meaningful period of change.
Please read this first. A dark night can look and feel a lot like depression, and the two can overlap. If you are experiencing hopelessness, weeks of low mood, or thoughts of harming yourself, talk to a doctor or mental-health professional. If you are in crisis in the US, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Energy work and spiritual sessions do not replace a doctor or therapist.
Where the phrase comes from: St. John of the Cross
The phrase traces back to St. John of the Cross (1542 to 1591), a Spanish Carmelite friar, priest and poet. He worked alongside Teresa of Ávila to reform the Carmelite order, a project that led to conflict within the order, and he was imprisoned by his own community in Toledo before escaping.
He wrote a poem that begins on "a dark night," describing a soul slipping out of a quiet house to meet the one it loves. He later wrote a long prose commentary on the poem, known in English as Dark Night of the Soul.
For St. John, the dark night was a stage in the contemplative life. Prayer that once brought comfort dries up. Familiar ways of feeling close to God stop working. He described two phases, a night of the senses and a deeper night of the spirit, and he understood them as a purification leading toward union with God. He was also careful to separate this spiritual dryness from melancholy, the word of his time for a low mood with other causes.
What the phrase means today
Modern use is much broader. People now use "dark night of the soul" for almost any period when their inner world is turned upside down. The common thread is a loss of meaning: the old story no longer fits and the new one has not arrived.
It often follows a clear event, such as:
- A divorce, breakup or loss of a close relationship
- The death of someone important
- Losing a job, career or role that shaped your identity
- Leaving a religion or questioning long-held beliefs
- A health scare, a move, children leaving home or another major transition
Sometimes there is no obvious trigger at all. Life looks fine on paper, yet everything feels hollow.
In spiritual communities, the dark night is often described as part of a wider awakening. Many of the same experiences show up in lists of spiritual awakening signs, because both involve old beliefs falling away.
Common signs people describe
Everyone's experience is different, but these are the patterns people mention most often:
- Loss of meaning. Goals, work or faith that once motivated you now feel pointless.
- Emptiness in spiritual practice. Meditation, prayer or ritual that used to help feels dry or silent.
- Identity questions. You are unsure who you are or what you want.
- Withdrawal. You need more time alone and have less patience for small talk.
- Grief without a clear object. Sadness for a version of your life that is ending.
- Old wounds resurfacing. Memories, fears or patterns you thought you had dealt with come back.
- Disillusionment. You see through things you once trusted, including people, institutions or your own stories about yourself.
- Exhaustion. Everything takes more effort than it used to.
Several of these overlap with depression. That is exactly why the next section matters.
Dark night or depression? How to tell the difference
You cannot reliably tell the difference on your own, and you do not have to. Depression is a medical condition that responds to care, and it can happen during a spiritual crisis. The table below shows how people often describe each, but it is a starting point for a conversation with a professional and cannot replace an assessment.
| Spiritual dark night (as commonly described) | Depression (a medical condition) | |
|---|---|---|
| Core experience | Loss of meaning, old beliefs falling away | Persistent low mood or loss of interest in almost everything |
| Daily functioning | Often strained but still possible | Can make work, eating, sleeping or self-care very hard |
| Sense of self-worth | Questions about identity and purpose | Often includes guilt, worthlessness or self-blame |
| Body | Tiredness, restlessness | Sleep and appetite changes, low energy, slowed movement or agitation |
| Thoughts of death or self-harm | Not a feature of the spiritual idea | A warning sign that needs urgent help |
See a doctor or therapist if your low mood lasts more than two weeks, if you struggle to get through daily tasks, if you are using alcohol or other substances to cope, or if you have any thoughts of harming yourself. If you are in crisis in the US, call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
It is fine to hold both views at once. You can see this period as spiritually meaningful and still get medical care. Many people find the two support each other.
What helps during a dark night
There is no way to rush this kind of change, but there are ways to make it more bearable.
Take care of the basics
Sleep, food, water, daylight and movement matter more than any spiritual practice right now. A short walk outside each morning, regular meals and a steady bedtime give your nervous system something to lean on.
Lower your expectations for a while
You may not be able to perform at your usual level. Where you can, reduce commitments and put off big irreversible decisions until you feel steadier.
Talk to someone
Isolation makes everything heavier. Share what you are going through with a friend, a spiritual mentor, a support group or a therapist. You do not need to explain it perfectly.
Let practice be simple
If meditation feels empty, keep it short or switch to something physical, such as slow walking, stretching or breathing with your hand on your belly. St. John's own advice was to stay quiet and patient rather than force the old feelings back.
Write it down
Journaling helps you see what is ending and what is starting. If you feel ready, some gentle shadow work prompts can help you notice old patterns that are asking to be released. Keep sessions short and stop if you feel flooded.
Use nature and the moon's rhythm
Many people find comfort in natural cycles during a dark night. The moon goes dark every month and returns. Some people use the new moon as a quiet time to rest and the waxing moon to take one small step forward. The moon calendar shows the dates.
What people describe on the other side
People who come through a dark night often describe a quieter, more honest relationship with themselves. Some find a new faith or practice, some return to their old one with fresh eyes, and some build a life that fits who they have become. There is no guaranteed outcome and no timeline. What matters most during the night itself is staying safe and supported.
How energy work can fit
Energy work, such as Reiki, is a complementary practice. It does not treat depression or any other condition. Some people going through a spiritual crisis find a session gives them an hour of calm, a sense of being cared for and space to feel what is happening without having to explain it. It works best alongside medical and mental-health care, never instead of it.
Working with Chandini
Chandini offers virtual sessions by video call, including a 75-minute Shadow Work & Release session (pay what feels right) for people who want support with old patterns surfacing during a hard season. Her nursing background means she will encourage you to keep your doctor or therapist involved. You can read about the shadow work session or talk it through first on a free 30-minute consultation at book a session.
This guide is for general information and reflection. It is not medical or psychological advice. If you are in crisis in the US, call or text 988.
